Italian Pipes - Briar Pipes Knowledge Base

Briar Pipes Knowledge Base

Is it ok to drill the hole in the stem bigger in my new briar pipe? I smoke a corncob pipe and just bought a briar pipe online. It arrived but the draw hole it too small and it has a lot of resistance and i can barely even suck in enough to light it. Can i take a drill and make it bigger? Would this mess anything up? I'd rather not take it into a tobacconist to look at it but will if it is necessary.

Should I buy my son a bubble pipe or just a real briar pipe? My 6 year old son wants a bubble pipe so he can "smoke his pipe with dad". Should I get him a bubble pipe so he can pretend when I am smoking my pipe? Should I just get him an actual briar pipe, he won't be smoking though just pretending. If your wondering I smoke pipe tobacco, no illegal substances.

Do you think it would be ok for a 14 year-old to try a briar pipe? I want to experience trying a briar pipe, I think I am mature enough to try it and I want to try University Flake. Should I?

Where are 'briar pipes' grown in Europe? be exact.

Is my new briar pipe filtered? I bought a briar pipe online and it didn't say wether it was filtered or not on the site. I started smoking a pipe a few months ago with a corncob and it wasn't filtered. When i suck in on this new pipe it feels so rough and theres so much resistance. Whats the deal? I haven't smoked it yet but i'm pretty sure i won't like it i want it to be smooth and have no resistance.

Hole in briar wood pipe. How best to patch it? I've had craks and broken pipes in the past. I know that after two years or so the $25-$35. ones crack from heat and stress. I just want to patch a hole in this one for an extended smoke.

where can i buy briar wood for making a pipe? i don't want a pipe making kit. just a hunk of plateau briar. can't seem to find it anywhere!

Smoking briar pipe and cake formation? HI I just bought myself a pipe and I'm breaking it in atm. My question is, how should the cake look like? Should it feel hard or soft? I want make sure that Im properly breaking it in correctly.

Italian pipes from Milano and english pipe tobacco!? Anyone on here own a Milano, italy pipe that looks sort of like a turtle shell (lol) and is a bent briar pipe. I got it off ebay and wanna know I mean it was cheap, but to me it smokes well, anyone own any pipes like that? Also, anyone know any cheap english tobacco? I haven't tried any and would like a small tin not like bulk and want some reviews. Heard its better than most other tobaccos. Thanks!!!!!

Good tobacco pipe brands (briar pipe)? New to smoking tobacco from pipes here... Just want to know of some decent brands of tobacco (briar) pipes that I can look around on the net for Would also be nice if someone could point me to a good website There are no stores in my area where I can really look at too many good pipes I live in Australia, not US

Is it bad to smoke different tobacco blends out of one briar pipe? I have been smoking a pipe for about 4 months now (1 bowl a day) and really enjoyed it. I decided it was time to upgrade to a briar pipe. I like to smoke a variety of different tobaccos and mix it up. I have read that it is recommended for Briar pipes that you don't smoke different tobaccos out of one pipe. Does it taste bad if you smoke different tobaccos or is it just better if used for one specific blend. Would i actually be better off sticking with the corncob if i wish to continue smoking different tobaccos...... or would it be ok to buy a good briar pipe? (also I am not willing to spend a lot of money on multiple pipes for specific tobaccos so I can only buy one new pipe) http://www.edwardstobacco.com/proddetail.asp?prod=BBAR700M&cat=16 -this is the new pipe I'm considering buying. I don't combine tobaccos or anything.... i just smoke a variety of different flavors, and i clean the pipe pretty well after each.

Do Brylon pipes require break-in? Or can you just use them off the shelf? I know regular briar pipes need break-in.

can you smoke a briar tobacco pipe everyday? I live in new jersey so it's nevery really that humid outside,would it be okay to smoke a briar tobacco pipe about 3 times a day (giving it at the very least least 3-4 hourst to cool off and dry out between smokes)everyday without giving it a few days off between smokes? and if it is bad for the pipe what would happen to it if I did smoke it that often? oh,did I forget to mention I wanted actual answers? I'm sorry you ll must have though I wanted you to tell me I should quit.how silly of me.

Why is smoking a pipe not as popular as in the past? How come more people don't take the time to sit back and enjoy some find pipe tobacco in a nice briar pipe? Pipe smoking used to be very popular among all age groups. Now a days it seems people just want a quick hit, and smoke cigarettes. In my opinion, people should take the time and relax, and start smoking a pipe.

Clogged briar tobacco pipe? My briar tobacco pipe recently became completely clogged. I tried using pipe cleaners and toothpicks but nothing seems to work. Any ideas on how to unclog it?

Have you had the chance to smoke a cigar or a pipe with your father? I am curious to see if anyone has had the opportunity to smoke a good cigar with their father, or share company with smoking a fine briar pipe with their father. How was the experience?

Can I smoke a tobacco pipe right after smoking it? I have a briar pipe and I have heard that you are supposed to wait 48 hours after smoking it before smoking it again. I was wondering if it is okay to right after finishing one bowl's worth, if I could then fill it again and smoke it? I think my pipe may be kind of small and I would like to make my smoking session longer without having to buy a second pipe.

When making a snowman do you give him a pipe? When making a snowman do you give him a pipe to smoke? If so, is it a corn cob pipe, or a briar pipe? Also what other accessories might you add?

If I want to spend abou $50 on a briar tobacco pipe, what's best: new or estate?

Should Pipe Smoking be considered a hobby? Just curious if you think pipe smoking would or should be considered a hobby. And I am talking about smoking pipe tobacco in a fine briar pipe. Not doing illegal drugs.

Why do people think you have to be old to smoke a pipe? Besides the law which states you have to be 18, why do most people think you have to be an old guy to smoke a pipe? I happen to like the fine pipe tobacco, and the feel of a warm briar pipe when smoking. By the way I am in my early 30's, and have smoked a pipe since I was 18.

How often can I smoke my (tobacco) pipe? just bough my first briar pipe and would like to know how often I can smoke it? I only have the one. Also what happens if i smoke it more often?

Do I need a pipe screen for my pipe? I have a new briar pipe that I am breaking in and don't know if I should use a screen at the bottom of the bowl or not. How will this effect cake? Thanks.

Where can I find briar wood? I want to make a pipe and I was advised to use briar wood. What is briar wood? Where can I find it. I live in New England.

Should I get a smoking jacket? I think it would be cool to have a smoking jacket for when I am sitting around the house smoking one of my fine briar pipes or a fine cigar. Should I get a smoking jacket? My wife has no opinion, so I am going to ask the yahoo answers community instead.

Pipe Smokers, Information on a Karl Erik freehand pipe? I am in the uk, and have a collection of Peterson Briar pipes, i have seen a Karl Erik freehand pipe for sale ,the grain and colour of it attracted my eye, its secondhand ,what should i be paying and are they any good Thanks Doc, Regards Alan

What is more relaxing than horseback riding? For me there is nothing more relaxing than taking a good horse out on a trail ride, smoking a briar tobacco pipe. Is there anything better than riding a good horse?

If you were going to smoke or currently smoke? If you currently smoke, what is your choice of tobacco consumption? If your a non smoker, what would you rather smoke? A premium cigar, or a pipe with some good pipe tobacco? I myself cannot stand cigarettes, but love a good cigar, and a fine briar pipe with some good pipe tobacco.

Have you ever ridden a horse while smoking a pipe? Anyone here ever fired up a fine briar pipe with some good pipe tobacco while out on a horseback ride?

Calling all briar tobacco pipe experts; I have a question about my new Brigham.? I bought this beautiful Dublin half curve for a pretty penny retail. Turned out a pipe cleaner wouldn't pass from the shank through to the bowl where you could see it if you looked into the bowl -- something was blocking it. I was only half aware of this as air flowed through and I didn't give it much thought until one day it became inextricably clogged. I tried to ram it throug with everything but again something was up with the pipe to begin with. Then I got stupid -- I tried flushing water through the bowl - which didn't work, it got a good soak and now the stem is to big to insert into the shank (the bowl "shrunk/warped"). The tabacconnist sent it back to the manufacturer and I guess they'll deal with the blockage aspect and sand paper down the tenon on the stem. This was a quality 6 dot Brigham worth $160 Canadian. My question is; assuming the repairs are done skillfully -- will this affect the smoke of the pipe adversly -- will it still be a "top notch" pipe after the bloated wood and sand papered tenon (stem)?? Why did brigham produce a pipe that doesn't allow a pipe cleaner to pass through the bowl? Is this rare? It is a mistake isn't it? Thanks to any who partake in this querry!

What is the white dot on a tobacco pipe? I have a tobacco pipe that belonged to my great-grandfather. It has a white dot where the pipe transitions from wood to the black plastic mouthpiece. It is on the black part right where it goes from the wood to the plastic. I know it was made before 1949 cause thats when he died, and on one side of the pipe it says "Kenley Imported Briar." Any information on this would be greatly appreciated. I dont know much at all about pipes, its just a keep sake for me but I am curious. Thanks, Vince

Makeshift tobacco pipe filter? I have a briar pipe that I smoke with and I'm running short on filters and money, is there something I can substitute a store-bought filter with? Thank you.

Where can I buy briar wood or cherry wood for carving? I am a hobbyist and craftsmen of sorts. I like to paint, carve, and play music. I'm also an unemployed insomniac living in a crappy little town in CT. There isn't much to do if you don't have much money in this town so I stick to drawing and painting. Recently, I've found carving to be pretty interesting so I carved my self a little pipe out of bass wood (it's not an ideal wood to smoke out of but it's very easy to carve) It was a pretty well detailed pipe head in the shape of a skull. My step dad found it one day and after a stern look, and a few questions he asked if I could make him one... that he can acutually use. From that point on I've been searching the internet for info on pipes and found that the best type of pipe wood is aged, kiln dried briar wood or cherry wood. I can not, however, find ANY PLACE to buy it, and I'm starting to get a little frustrated. Any ideas? Suggestions?

What are good pipe brands to buy? I would like a price range under 200 dollars.But I want a good pipe to smoke. I like briar and mershum and I know merschum is more expensive. Please advise. Thanks you two. I'll chaeck them out.

Tobacco Pipe Smoking: When is bowl finished? Hello. Right now I'm smoking a bowl out of my Briar tobacco pipe. It has a deep narrow bowl, so it's hard for me to tell whether or not the bowl is actually finished. How will I know my bowl is finished? Do I have to stir it up with my tamper to see if there are still tobacco leaves? Thanks.

are they real kaywoodie pipes? I recently interesting in smoking with pipe and I want to buy my first briar. I’ve chosen to have one kaywoodie. But I have to buy it on web and it will be the first deal between the seller and me. I searched for the information of kaywoodie pipes and saw the pictures posted by seller. Now I have a question, does every kaywoodie pipe have drinkless attachment known as“thorn” in it? As I didn’t see it in the pictures, I am not sure if the seller offers the original kaywoodies or fake ones. Could you help me with it? I can’t have more information in my country,China. If they are real, the price is pretty attractive and I think I will buy it. Here is the link of the different series the seller offers and some pictures. http://shop35464171.taobao.com/shop/xshop/wui_page-cat-35464171-110683143-w8C5+iBLQVlXT09ESUUgMDcwz7XB0A==.htm?checkedRange=true http://shop35464171.taobao.com/shop/xshop/wui_page-cat-35464171-117205937-w8C5+iBLQVlXT09ESUUgMDY5z7XB0A==.htm?checkedRange=true http://shop35464171.taobao.com/shop/xshop/wui_page-cat-35464171-112004176-w8C5+iBLQVlXT09ESUUgMDI1z7XB0A==.htm?checkedRange=true Thank you for your help.

A question about Pipe smoking? Here is the deal:i used to smoke about 10 cigarettes per day while i was working however i've quit smoking cold turkey succesfully(over 6 months)a week ago i wanted to star smoking a pipe cause i like tobacco(apart from the fact that you get addicted to it).Anyway long story short i've been smoking a briar pipe over a week now 1-3 bowls which last about 40 mins and ofcourse i do not inhale the smoke as opposed to the cigarettes(i do not find it pleasant even with cigs i was not inhaling all of them).My problem now is that after some pipes my mouth gets completely fry no matter what despite the fact that i've learned to keep the smoke just warm,and now my mouth hurts same as the throat,also when i exhale with force from the lungs(while not smoking)i feel a pressure on it again despite the fact that i do not inhale pipe smoke.Last but not least it appears that i get a nicotine buzz which makes me feel like i am on fever and i've lost at least half of my appertite to eat,however the smoke i have is not supposed to be a nicotine monster(i smoke Mc Baren's black ambrosia pure virginia tobacco).Any assumption on what is going on would be welcome i mean it's not i've never smoked again i thought that the pipe would be a lot easier!

Hookah tobacco in a normal pipe? Is it possible to smoke hookah tobacco in a normal briar pipe?

Is it odd that I smoke a pipe on horseback? When riding my horse, I like to smoke my pipe with good pipe tobacco. If I am out on a public trail riding and puffing a briar, I get looks from people who seem perplexed. Is it because I am young (30) and smoking a pipe, or is it because I am smoking on horseback. Or is it because a lot of people don't ever see someone smoking a pipe now days.

what can happen you youre pipe if smoked to often? i have a briar tobacco pipe, what happens if you smoke it too often? I just got it and im breaking it in at the moment, i smoked it twice (half bowls) in one day, is this bad, will it taste sour soon? Also im having problems building the cake on the bottom, any thoughts? oh and no "ihatehaley.com" posts grow up

What woods are safe to smoke out of? i want to make a pipe and i went to the store and picked up some oak thats all they had... i know its a softer kind of wood but would it be harmful? what kind of wood is harmful to smoke out of, i know they use briar and cherry wood for pipes but i cant get that anywhere around here thanks

What do you prefer to light your pipe, or cigar with? When firing up a good cigar, or a fine briar. Do you prefer using a match, or a butane lighter?

anyone ever heard of a 12 tree tobacco pipe made in Italy????? very nice calabash briar pipe with marble like stem.

Would you smoke a cigar in your car? I like to smoke a pipe with good pipe tobacco and the occasional premium cigar. I don't smoke a pipe in the car due to airbags, and the potential for ramming my briar down my throat. Cigars on the other hand, I do like, but don't want the after scent in the car. Rental cars are a different story though, I have smoked numerous cigars in a rental. Anyone else smoke cigars in their car, or rentals for the record.

pipe smoking help- a few questions.? i smoke cigars and i started smoking a pipe a few years ago ,picking it up again every few months. well i've been going the cheap route and have some questions and issues; - my cheap cob pipe has a bowl of 3/4 ths of an inch wide by 1 inch deep. i get about 5 minutes of a smoke from it. is it too small of a bowl? how large is the bowl on your own pipe? and how long does that bowl last. - i've been getting drug store brands (dutch masters, red cap, captain black) and so far captain black white is the best. it tastes like cake icing to me, but what is your favorite blend of all? - can you recommend a cheap brand (40 or less) of briar pipe that is to be had online? i am about 40 miles from a good pipe store (the smoke shop doesn't carry anything but cobs). - after i smoke a pipe my mouth feels numb and my throat feels closed and tight a bit. is this normal?

what woods are safe to smoke out of? i want to make a pipe and i went to the store and picked up some oak thats all they had... i know its a softer kind of wood but would it be harmful? what kind of wood is harmful to smoke out of, i know they use briar and cherry wood for pipes but i cant get that anywhere around here thanks

Is smoking a pipe against your religion? Some black cavendish sounds good right about now. And for the pipe smokers that answer: What is the advantage of briar wood pipe versus corncob? What is your favorite tobacco?

Poll: Smoking a Cigar or pipe? What would you rather smoke? A premium hand rolled cigar, or a fine briar tobacco pipe with good pipe tobacco.

Carving a Gandalf Pipe? I am planning on carving a pipe used by Gandalf in the Lord Of The Rings series as the replicas are much to expensive for me. Trouble is I don't know how to go about this. So far I know I should use briar wood, and that it will require a knife (like a swiss army one). But how do I make the pipe itself? I know to carve it, and steam it to make the curve I wish of, but what about the stem? How do I carve through it? Any tips, or list of instructions is greatly appreciated!

Ladies - Do you like the manly smell of a pipe? Or do you prefer the rich smell of leather from the stable-hands boots? Gentleman - Which pipe attracts the most fillies? Does a briar attract a different class of lady from a cub?

Tobacco Pipe Carving Workshops in Vancouver? Tobacco Pipe carving, does anyone know of a class in Vancouver that teaches such things? If not, where in Vancouver could I purchase a block of "briar wood"? Thanks:)

What are your guilty pleasure names? Mine are: Girls: Piper Nicole- Meaning: Pipe player Briar Kathleen- Meaning: Shrub, small tree December Grace “Dee Dee”- Meaning: The month Jezebel Marie- Meaning: Unexalted Odessa Claire- Meaning: Long journey Winter Eden- Meaning: The season Skye Arabella- Meaning: Clouds Harmony Rose- Meaning: Musical combination of chords Verona Belle- Meaning: Truth Reagan Michaela “Ray” Meaning: Little King Allegra Nadine “Allie” Meaning: Joy Remedy Nicole “Remy” Meaning: Cure Boys: Ezra Joseph- Meaning: Help Emerson Dean- Meaning: Son of Emery Leland Malachi- Meaning: Meadowland Caspian Elijah- Meaning: Of the Caspy people Kenan Bradley- Meaning: To take possession List as many as you want :)

What do people use to give wood an almost reflective finish, but that is also safe to be put in your mouth? I have been researching pipe making and i see alot of pipes that are made with Briar, getting the wood is not a problem, but actually getting it to be SHINY as hell is confusing. I picked up some Antiquax, or carnuba and beezwax (spelt correctly?) and ive been buffing my first creation non stop. I cant get it to shine... Also, i used a wood glue between the stem and the bowl, does anyone know if smoking through a pipe with glue would be toxic BECAUSE of the glue? Thanks!

Making an oak tobacco pipe? Alright, before I begin let me state that I: - Do not smoke marijuana or any other illicit drugs; or plan to smoke marijuana or other illicit drugs. - I am only going to be using the pipe to smoke tobacco. - I already have other pipes, but would love to make my own (I absolutely love light-colored woods; which briar wood is not) - I am over eighteen. Since primarily the only trees I have near where I live are white oaks, and I do not want to buy commerical briar wood; I decided to use white oaks, but I have a few questions about doing this. So, how can I make a tobacco pipe out of white oak? Is it safe to use white oak? What can I use for a stem? What tools will I need? Any links or suggestions would be appriciated. Thanks, Ryan Rusticated Looks Best I believe there also are maple trees where I live (but I'm not home right now; so I'll have to determine it when I get there. There are not any maple trees in my backyard, but I can look around my neighborhood (which I believe there are some there) I have read that maple works as well.

Smoking pipe in London? Second-hand shop? Hi! I'm looking for a second-hand shop in London where I could buy a pipe. I have in mind Sherlock Holmes' pipe, but not the calebash, since it's apparently not what Conan Doyle had in mind (actually, the calebash wasn't available in England at the time the stories were written). Basically, I want to find a curved amber stem briar, maybe even a bull dog one (a thick/big bowl). Thank you very much for your help. ANY indication would be much appreciated. It's for a present.

How do you clean a pipe without damaging it? It is a churchwarden pipe, the wood is supposedly the good authentic briar. It was made in the 60's but it has never been smoked out of. Is there a specific solution i need to get to clean it? How would i get the inside of that long, slender stem clean? There is also a buildup on residue on the metal parts. I need some advice for cleaning that too. When i used a wet cotton swab and swabbed the inside of the wood piece, it kept coming out the same color as the finish on the wood. How do i know when it is safe to smoke out of?

How do you/Can you re-varnish a wooden tobacco pipe? I used this 402 or 420 cleaner thing and like an impatient idiot I failed to check to see if my pipe is compatible for cleaning with the use of the cleaner. So I cleaned the thing and got the years of built up tobacco out- but I read on the pipe right afterward that it is made of imported Briar. I check on the bottle and it turns out it is very very bad for acrylic, plastic, and certain finishes. (Like wood finishing *smacks head*) So, I am currently watching my old brown pipe fade into an old white pipe. (While I never really intended to smoke anything out of it, it's got some sentimental value, so if I can at least save its looks that'd be great) Any suggestions?

Tobaco pipe: What is the most practical and effective process to avoid tobacco pipe bowl from charring? I'm thinking of a thin coat of anything liquid (eg, resin from trunk of trees mixed with sugar and water). Answers ahould be aside from smoking the bowl half stacked and full stacked alternately, coating the pipe bowl with 50/50 sugar and water concentration, or using briar (I've got no issues concerning the type of wood, I use mahogany and tamarind wood for my bowl. scientific answers please... I'm a woodcarving artist in a bad shape when it comes to the utilization of my masterpiece.Help! lol! ; )

Need decorative plant for specific area/conditions? I need a decorative, preferably flowering plant for a specific area in my yard. I live in North Florida where we get a good amount of rain, however the ground is mostly sand and therefor does not hold water well. Most of my other plants are heat/drought resistant and do well but I've got one spot that's just the opposite. This area doesn't get direct sunlight due to the house overhang and being in a corner, the closest DIREST sunlight is at the stone edging of this 18" x 30" spot. There is also a pipe that drips water constantly. Wild briar vines thrive here, but the rose that was orriginally planted died due to too much water. I'm going to remove the old neutriant-poor dirt and replace with horse manure and topsoil to make a very rich soil. I want a plant that'll fill this space and do well in shade and lots of water. Was thinking ferns but I LOVE flowers. Veggies also okay. Suggestions? Please?

I wrote this, do you think I'm nuts? Please answer, I beg of thee!? I know it's wierd as hell but I'd love to know what you think it. I heard them whispering that in the dark bats claw your eyes and hurricanes rain topaz whales.The radish factory is well hidden beneath the pine trees now and our alarm clocks are all set for 3:05. We are ready for the blaspheming monsoon to throw sand in the kettles, poison the pots and stir up the tin can shanties. This time we won't let Harry's mask slide off. We'll cement it on with good strong glue and wintergreen chewing gum. The blue kind. If only I could find a grand flounder with which to cover my door. It would keep the piglets from assuming the canvas in the kitchen was theirs for the taking. Oh how they bother me with their constant wailing about the state of the stale potatoes in the garden shed. That is where in normally store my canvas, you see, in the garden shed. Now is the time for us to strap tassels to our shoes to help us trample through the briars and shake the peppered lizards from our ankles. In the market they will ask us why we wear the green tassels and not the magenta ones that are in vogue these days, and we will tell them only that green is a good honest color. They will never understand and they will never be prepared for the ice with their stiff wooden mittens and iron laced scarves. Before the season is through, magenta tassels will protrude from their dusty drawers like the bill on a well paid racing duck. Eventually, if things go on like this, we'll all have to empty the plastic pellets from our matresses and sell them to the laundromat. Somehow it makes me sad to see them whirling in the soap through the window of the big machine. It reminds me of the foam on your grandpa's necktie, the one he wore to the deli every tuesday when he would go to pick up solar rolls and liver colored kittens. It always snowed delicately with loud gusts of 13th avenue spiders on those days. It would cause chaos in the corridors of the library as young mice hurried to check out the latest victory only to have their necks snapped. The spiders are gone now, all rather content to crumple above the ceiling tiles with a magazine full of velvety oil stains. They left me lacing up my boots alone with cattail fingers and dandelion eyes. I heard the sparrows crushing the frosted glass with their neon mallets. I reacted promptly, shoving your yellowest raincoat in the cabinet beneath the oven. It is now nearly dawn, a bit late for me to be crossing the gaping field of gravel, but the dearest of onions had persuaded me to do so. I saw the washer late that day, a wise old witch as she ever was without her curious white pipes. The crickets are running through the refrigerator on the balding sand. Let's build muddy stairs inside a cardboard box in the middle of the street. A snake is standing in the washtub with breadcrumb slippers. They are full of pond water and he's trying to scrub it out with a greased sponge. A mossy blue sponge. A storm commands an army of butterflies, well armed with rakes for tearing out drywall. A tortoise chewed tobacco in a mound of deteriorating birthday cakes. They're waiting for Superman to wrap cocaine in his cape and crawl under the truck, then tweak the wingnuts and welcome the rabbits. He dropped his dictionary in a puddle and it melted."Owl!" He cried. "Owl in the rafters with a box of macaroni!" and the owl drifts away, pencil in hand with a pocket full of feathers. After scraping away the last layers of glue I found myself in a mouldering styrofoam cottage. I realized I would need a tractor to haul away all the missing pieces. I took them to my wicker basket full of shattered limes where Harry used to store the baking soda. There's more but I figured you'd get bored. don't take this seriously, it's pretty much word salad

I wrote this, do you think I'm nuts? Please answer, I beg of thee.? I wrote this in my free time. It's pretty weird. What's your opinion? I heard them whispering that in the dark bats claw your eyes and hurricanes rain topaz whales.The radish factory is well hidden beneath the pine trees now and our alarm clocks are all set for 3:05. We are ready for the blaspheming monsoon to throw sand in the kettles, poison the pots and stir up the tin can shanties. This time we won't let Harry's mask slide off. We'll cement it on with good strong glue and wintergreen chewing gum. The blue kind. If only I could find a grand flounder with which to cover my door. It would keep the piglets from assuming the canvas in the kitchen was theirs for the taking. Oh how they bother me with their constant wailing about the state of the stale potatoes in the garden shed. That is where in normally store my canvas, you see, in the garden shed. Now is the time for us to strap tassels to our shoes to help us trample through the briars and shake the peppered lizards from our ankles. In the market they will ask us why we wear the green tassels and not the magenta ones that are in vogue these days, and we will tell them only that green is a good honest color. They will never understand and they will never be prepared for the ice with their stiff wooden mittens and iron laced scarves. Before the season is through, magenta tassels will protrude from their dusty drawers like the bill on a well paid racing duck. Eventually, if things go on like this, we'll all have to empty the plastic pellets from our matresses and sell them to the laundromat. Somehow it makes me sad to see them whirling in the soap through the window of the big machine. It reminds me of the foam on your grandpa's necktie, the one he wore to the deli every tuesday when he would go to pick up solar rolls and liver colored kittens. It always snowed delicately with loud gusts of 13th avenue spiders on those days. It would cause chaos in the corridors of the library as young mice hurried to check out the latest victory only to have their necks snapped. The spiders are gone now, all rather content to crumple above the ceiling tiles with a magazine full of velvety oil stains. They left me lacing up my boots alone with cattail fingers and dandelion eyes. I heard the sparrows crushing the frosted glass with their neon mallets. I reacted promptly, shoving your yellowest raincoat in the cabinet beneath the oven. It is now nearly dawn, a bit late for me to be crossing the gaping field of gravel, but the dearest of onions had persuaded me to do so. I saw the washer late that day, a wise old witch as she ever was without her curious white pipes. The crickets are running through the refrigerator on the balding sand. Let's build muddy stairs inside a cardboard box in the middle of the street. A snake is standing in the washtub with breadcrumb slippers. They are full of pond water and he's trying to scrub it out with a greased sponge. A mossy blue sponge. A storm commands an army of butterflies, well armed with rakes for tearing out drywall. A tortoise chewed tobacco in a mound of deteriorating birthday cakes. They're waiting for Superman to wrap cocaine in his cape and crawl under the truck, then tweak the wingnuts and welcome the rabbits. He dropped his dictionary in a puddle and it melted."Owl!" He cried. "Owl in the rafters with a box of macaroni!" and the owl drifts away, pencil in hand with a pocket full of feathers. After scraping away the last layers of glue I found myself in a mouldering styrofoam cottage. I realized I would need a tractor to haul away all the missing pieces. I took them to my wicker basket full of shattered limes where Harry used to store the baking soda. it continues but I figured you'd get bored p.s. I think it gets better toward the end don't take this seriously, it's pretty much word salad

Briar Patch, Smoke shop? Hey i was looking at this place online and it seemed to have a wide variety of tobaccos and flavored tobaccos... i was wondering if anyne had anything good or bad to say about this shop.... its briarpatch.biz if anyone wanted to check it out, its a really interesting and intriguing variety of tobaccos for the pipe... i myself smoke cigarettes and the occasion bowl of weed and use pipe tobacco to stuff cigarettes with... again http://www.briarpatch.biz i need some reviews, good or bad i dont care i just need some I APPRECIATE THEM